Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, thanks so much for listening to this message. My name is Jason and I'm one of the ministers here at the Madison Church of Christ. It's our hope and prayer that the teaching you hear today will bless your life and draw you closer to God. If you're ever in the Madison area, we'd love for you to stop by and study the Bible with us on Sundays at 5pm or Wednesdays at 7pm if you have questions about the Bible or want to know more about the Madison Church, you can find us online@madisonchurch.org be sure to subscribe to this podcast as well as our Sermons podcast. Madison Church of Christ Sermons. Thanks again for stopping by. I hope this study is a blessing to you.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: Welcome. Welcome to Ladies class tonight. So glad you're here.
We will go ahead and get started.
We have two wonderful people that are going to speak to us tonight.
They're going to try not to throw up, they said, so we know they'll do great. I do want to make an announcement that I was asked to make. Michelle Brown asked me to remind everybody about a few little details regarding the Ladies retreat. It is at Joe Wheeler. She wanted me to say that in all caps. Joe Wheeler, not Gunnersville. Joe Wheeler. Okay. She said they currently have 190 ladies registered, which is awesome.
I don't know how many it was last time, but I. I'd really like to see if it's more. It says if you still owe money, please get that in by the end of the week. You can pay online or see Amanda or Michelle to make final payments by cash or check.
Check in time for Friday is between 6 and 7 with the event starting at 7 and Saturday check in time is between 8 and 9 with the event starting at 9. So just a few details. If you're going to the Ladies retreat, I'm excited about it. It's gonna be awesome like it was last time, I'm sure. So I'll say a prayer to get us started and then Emily, you can come lead your song after that. Oh, gotta read my bios. Don't want to forget to tell y'all about who's going to be speaking to us tonight.
We have Delaney Dunaway and Olivia Cox. Really hard for me not to call you Olivia Barnes, but we have Delaney. She's attended Madison since 2007. She's married to Andrew Dunaway and has two kids, Graham, who is 3 1/2, and Presley, who is 1 1/2. She's a former family and consumer science teacher but now has her dream job of staying home with her babies. She's involved in the shower ministry at church and loves supporting those starting out a marriage or welcoming a new baby. It's awesome. My her husband is also a new member deacon and has the privilege of engaging and welcoming new families to our congregation. So it's awesome. I know you do a lot to help him with that. And then Olivia has attended Madison since 2000 and has is now married to her husband Evan. They've been married for a little over a year now. She's passionate about helping students with behavioral needs and gets to do that every day as a special education teacher at Columbia Elementary School.
At church she has enjoyed serving as an administrative assistant for Law Inglesia and co teaching a Spanish class. So that's awesome. Dear Lord, thank you so much for bringing us here tonight. Thank you for all the ladies in this room and what they mean to me personally, but what we all mean to each other, Lord. I'm just so thankful for each one of them and all the wisdom and the care and love that is in this room. I just pray that you will help us in the middle of our week to remember and focus on you and to think about all the things that you are doing in our lives and through these stories and through the things that we will hear tonight. I pray that you will speak to us, that we will hear from your Holy Spirit through these verses and that they will touch our hearts and move us to action and move us to new thoughts and new ideas that enrich our lives and bring peace and comfort. I pray that you'll be with sweet Emily as she leads us in song. You'll be with Delaney and Olivia as they bring us our message and I just thank you and praise you for bringing us all here tonight. In Jesus name, Amen.
[00:04:36] Speaker C: Hi, I'm Delaney Dunaway. For those of you I have not met yet. I have never been a good speaker, writer or talker and I'm one of those who leaves every conversation like what did I just say?
So I will probably be reading a lot and if nothing else I hope I can just get one thing across and that's that relying on God and His word is the best way to get through a difficult time. He is the only one who can fully heal us, restore us and give us hope.
For as long as I can remember, bad things have happened to those around me. I have always been a tender hearted person. So anytime I knew someone I knew or didn't know went through a loss, tragedy, tough time or devastation, it's always affected me deeply. Anytime someone else cries, I'm right there crying with them. Yes, including the past several Wednesday nights in this room. I put myself in their shoes as much as I can and I hurt for them and with them growing up, I was so very blessed not to have any of those times affect me or my immediate family. I always felt lucky, but I also knew bad things could happen to me too. I wasn't excused from hardships, losses, tragedies or bad things forever. We are not promised perfect futures with perfect peace, health, happiness. And if we were, what joy would we have to look forward to in our eternity in perfect heaven? This may red flag me from a therapist standpoint, but from a young age I've tried to prepare myself for the bad things to happen to me at some point. I have always prayed to God, asking Him, when these bad times happen to me or my family, be with me, whatever it may be. Do not let me stray. I need you Lord and I don't want to live a life without you. Give me a faith that is so strong I have peace in any circumstance. I certainly didn't want anything bad to happen, but I thought the best way to prepare myself for the inevitable was to go ahead and start praying for when it did. I started asking God in almost all of my prayers to keep me close to him no matter what or my family goes through. Let me be okay, Let me see the bigger picture. Let me glorify you no matter what.
Although I prayed prayers for like this for years, nothing prepares you for the exact moment you hear any kind of what feels like devastating news. On December 28, 2023, I took my husband Andrew for a colonoscopy. A couple months after our nurse practitioner miraculously ordered one just to be extra safe. After her thinking his symptoms were probably not a big deal, I received a call from the GI doctor after the scope telling me that they found a large tumor in his colon. I had a four month old baby on my hip at the time and a two year old getting into something and I just froze my heart sinking to my stomach trying hard to memorize every word that he was telling me. With the distractions I had going on, I heard the word surgery and act fast and very large and that he and his team were very shocked to find this with him being so young and the last thing he asked because I guess I wasn't responding was Mrs. Duniway, are you okay?
This being so unexpected, I didn't know what to say or what to ask and was just trying to Process everything in the moment. Well, this was unfortunate because when I picked Andrew up minutes later, he was clueless of the findings during the scope and I was tasked with relaying the news to him with little to no details. Our questions had to wait because New Year's and New Year's Day were the next few days, so we couldn't meet with the doctor again until January 2nd. That day he came in the room, cut straight to the chase and said, well, the biopsy came back and it is cancer.
Even though I prayed for peace in this moment, it felt like anything but it felt like raw fear. It felt like a deep, dark, helpless pit. And I can't say truthfully that this verse popped in my head in that moment like I wished it did. But it was laid on my heart throughout the struggles the year and now it's one of my favorite verses in the Bible.
Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 Every part of this verse held the assurance I needed to get me through, to know we were all covered. Me, my husband, my kids. I remember looking over to see Andrew's face pale and his eyes watering. We were both in shock. Again. I don't think either of us were expecting that, as a large tumor in the colon sounded bad enough. He called a surgeon right there in the room with us on speakerphone and explained our situation and asked him if he could perform the surgery as quickly as possible and he agreed to work us in. Of course, scans and insurance and other barriers pushed the timeline back, but January 22nd, he had the tumor removed. At the end of the surgery. The doctor called me in the waiting room and explained explained to me that he did well, but there was a suspicious spot they found in an unreachable location that would require attacking through several rounds of chemo and a possible second surgery. This time I had him repeat it on speakerphone so I could have an extra set of ears. But what this was supposed to be it getting this thing out of him and being done was what was on my goal list following his recovery, of course. But the storm wasn't over and I needed this verse again.
Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 do not fear is mentioned all throughout the Bible 365 times, one for every day of the year.
Why is God telling us that so much? He knows his people are going to go through scary things and he is not just telling us not to fear or to be dismayed. He tells us why we don't have to right after that. Because he is our God. Our strong, mighty, all knowing, good, worthy Savior is with us. He was with Moses, Ruth and Naomi. He was with Job. He was with Paul. There's not a hard time Someone went through in the Bible, our very guide to life, where he did not show up. So why would he not show up for you or for me?
He will every time. There were victories and there were setbacks. Andrew ended up needing a second major surgery and more chemo than we were originally told. There were good days where he was building things in the garage like normal and there were terrible ones where he couldn't get out of bed and wouldn't eat or drink.
There were ones that ended in smiles and some in tears. Seeing your young, hard working, never sitting strong husband be so weak and sick and unlike themselves for months is something you would never want to see. No matter how strong people thought I was or told me I was, I heavily depended on my husband being my partner in all things prior to him being sick. I have never claimed to be an independent person. I don't typically like being alone or doing things by myself. As much as I hate to admit it, I am the Tiktoks where the wife throws all the Amazon boxes in the garage for the husband to break them down. I'm the wife that waits for him to get home from work to help me move something heavy, unlike my mom over there, and I count down the minutes until he gets home from work to help me out with the kids or whatever else I left him during the day. But going through last year, I very much had to be strong in more ways than just housework. I had to rely on his strength more than I ever had in my life. Nothing prepares you for having to be the one to tell your husband what they found during his scope and then again in his surgery. But his strength allowed me to Nothing prepares you for the talk he had with you in case I don't make it. But his strength overcame Nothing prepares you for watching him wonder if the days playing with his children would be some of his last. But his strength gave me joy.
Nothing prepares you for laying next to him in bed at night, imagining being without. But his strength gave me rest. No matter how low our thoughts may have taken us at times, we were never alone. God was our Strength.
But what else did he say in Isaiah 41:10? He said he would help me and boy did I need help.
Remember the needy wife I mentioned earlier with needy babies home all day with me. Being on chemo, as you I'm sure you know, have heard, makes you very fatigued and sick and weak. And on top of two major surgery recoveries, my four month old and two year old being with me and I needed help. God showed up through my mom.
I can't even put into words what she did for us and the load that she carried for me.
God also gave us you all.
I had to learn to let others help me more than I wanted to. And wow, was that a blessing more than I realized. You all were exactly what we needed at times. You all helped me not feel alone. My family, my church family and friends. You were the strength and the help sent directly from the Lord. And we are so grateful for you.
You prayed with us and for us. A group of my very closest friends and their kids came to our house shortly after the news to hold our hands and pray with us.
You fed us. Y'all know Deanna Ivey. She was dropping off meals in the early days, just texting us, saying check your front porch.
Terry Preston, time after time spoiled us, bringing us meals. And many of you others did too. You encouraged us. You hugged us at church. You flooded us with guards.
Guys in our Connect class mowed our yard.
A dear church friend sent her house cleaner to my house, which was amazing.
Another sent me a gift card to get a massage. Another drove Andrew to a scan in the ice when I was worried about not having four wheel drive.
Sweet John Walton came and sat with me, prayed with me in the hospital while waiting on Andrew to get done with his surgery, our ministers came to see Andrew. They said they just came to see him in a gown, but.
But it was sweet nonetheless.
And you guys truly magnified. Galatians 6:2 carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. You carried our burdens.
Last year was hard. We wondered about our future and our kids. We thought negative thoughts. We held each other tighter and longer. We cried and begged God for healing. We even questioned why. But fully trusting and leaning on God, believing that there is no fear when he is with me, believing he is my strength and he will uphold me, gave me that immeasurable peace that surpasses understanding talked about in Philippians 4. 7.
I honestly thought I would cry more. I even wondered a few times if there was something wrong with Me, I thought I'd question God more, feel more lost and alone. But I was truly overwhelmed by a peace that assured me the things I had always prayed about from an early age. God was answering my long time prayer. It was going to be okay. We would not be given anything we couldn't handle. He is with us. He is our God, Our good, amazing God. He held me by his righteous right hand today. Andrew's doing great. He's gotten clean scans and scopes and all the other tests they run every few months and for that we are so thankful. We pray we do not take this healing for granted. We pray we can be a blessing to others as you all have been to us. I want to end with some lyrics to a song. One of my favorite songs, and it's part of this song, is what got me through this hard time. It's called Psalm 23 still waters by Leanna Crawford and I told Cindy that my voice is not going to do this song justice. So if you want to listen to it on YouTube or something.
She has a beautiful voice but great Anne Marine said at 103 Write scripture on your heart for when you need it, because anxiety hates Psalm 23, so just say it to yourself till you believe it. And I'm feeling like I'm needing it right now. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want he leads me by still waters till my fears are gone. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I know you are with me, my father, my friend, your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days. I know by your still waters I'm safe. Lord, I believe you can set me at ease Turn this broken peace in me to peace and quiet I know there's power in your word so I'll say it over and over till my soul's reminded. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He leads me by still waters till my fears are gone. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I know you are with me my father, my friend, your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days I know by your still waters I'm safe Still waters run through any valley I could find I'm laying fear down here at heaven's riverside. Your word has been true in every season of my life I believe yes I believe that still waters run through any valley I could find I'm laying fear down here at heaven's riverside. Your word has been true in every season of my life I believe yes I believe that the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He. He leads me by still waters till my fears are gone. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I know you are with me. My father, my friend. Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days. I know by your still waters I'm safe. Thank you.
[00:17:46] Speaker D: All right, if y'all don't know me, I'm a talker. So I brought my timer up here just, you know, to keep me on track. I'm Olivia Cox. Some of you might have known me as Olivia Barnes. When they presented the theme of going through life's trials to us, the first thing that came to my mind thinking about trials was a staircase, a staircase of trials. Because as you guys all I'm sure have experienced in life, trials are not just like, one and done. You know, you don't have that tough thing that happens and then check, like, I'm never going to have to experience. Experience something like that again. Trials are plural. We have many of them. And sometimes we go through seasons of life where it just feels like there's hardship after hardship. And then sometimes we have those seasons where we're on all of those mountains and everything's great.
The more experienced I become with facing trials, the more open I become to the fact that God is just building in me another step to help me get closer to him. And at least in my life, with my trials, I tend to notice that these steps build on each other to help me get where I'm going.
I know trials sometimes seems like they exist to harm us. There have been several trials in my life where I honestly, in the moment, did not see any other purpose.
But we know that God works all things together for good. So tonight, I'm going to share a few of my trials, show you kind of how they've been stepping stones for me. But I know that I look out and I see this crowd and everyone has a set of trials that they can insert in their own life instead of mine. And I want you to also take this time, either while I'm speaking or afterwards to reflect on your trials and reflect on what God has done in you through those.
So step number one that we'll start with is start. In high school, I was taking a medication for acne, and in me, that medication caused extreme anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I went from being a straight A student to failing classes. I went from being bubbly and loving, everyone around me being very social, to not wanting to spend any time with people.
This was really hard for me. It was hard. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't understand it.
But that trial led to something that has helped me a lot in my life, and that was seeking the help of a counselor. Through that help, I was able to identify first that the medication was what was causing that. So we got off of that. Everything was good. And then to start working through what it had caused. Right, because just because you're off the medication doesn't mean those things are gone anymore. So that was kind of the first step, right? So first thing bad thing happened, but now I have a tool that I can use in the future.
Second thing that happened. As many of you know, I am very. A very decisive person. In fact, when I was in high school, I had this dream, and I probably wouldn't have even told you it was a dream. I would have told you it was reality. That I was going to be an ambassador for the United States States.
It was my big goal.
But I went and looked at colleges and not a single one of them felt like home. And I felt like a failure. I felt like I couldn't decide what to do and I was just not going to succeed at my grand plans and through the people that I had met in this first trial, because during that difficult time, I also met some really good friends, friends that were some very good influences to me, and just different adults as well. I was actually able to be exposed to some conversations, to some examples, and then to some opportunities to do mission work. And that's what I decided to do. I decided to go do mission work. And through that opportunity with mission work, I was blessed tremendously. I purposely had them put in my bio that I work, do my dream job as a special education teacher. Because I would have told you in high school that I did not like spending time with children, that I was not good with kids, and that I had no interest in a career with them. And now I get to do something that I'm passionate about and I love every single day. I would have never found out that I was meant to be a teacher without that year.
So again, building on that, the people from that first seemed to be bad experience helped expose me to something that was really positive for me, even through a weird time.
But unfortunately, as some of you know, just because you're kind of riding out a high after experiencing some uncertainty, it doesn't necessarily exclude you from going through something difficult again.
And I found myself in mission work, in an abusive relationship.
During that relationship, I endured mental, spiritual, emotional, and sexual abuse. There's a lot of details to do with that that I'm not quite ready to share in a public setting. But I do want you to know, if anything resonates with you, that I'm happy to talk to you about it later.
This relationship completely warped my sense of reality.
It was very easy for this boy to change my opinions, change my beliefs, Change my perception of myself, and change my perception of those around me. And the most difficult thing was he used the shame that I endured because of the things that I went through with him to convince me of a lie, that I was trapped with him.
He had convinced me that if I tried to get out, everyone was going to hate me, that I would never find love again, and that I was just an awful, terrible person. It was very isolating, and I was so embarrassed of who I was during that time that I would not even tell close people. My family did not know most of the details. My friends did not know most of the details.
This trial was the one where I had screaming matches with God. I was probably not the most respectful.
There was a lot of screaming into a pillow, asking why and not understanding what was going on.
And I endured that for three years.
Three years of screaming and being miserable and being embarrassed to tell anyone.
So that was really hard.
But let's go back to those stair steps. Because of some other difficult things I'd been through, I'd been introduced to some people that were able to help me. So the first thing. And I have her on the phone tonight because I wanted her to be here. I truly believe the holy spirit is the only answer I have for getting out of that relationship. In that time, I did not think that there was anything other than dying that was going to get me out. Like I said, I truly believed I was trapped. But one night after my screaming matches with God, I just woke up. And all of a sudden, before I could realize what was going on, I was telling a friend on the phone, and that was Kenzie presnell. Kenzie Beard now.
And she loved me and valued my future and my safety more than our friendship. Because even though I would literally run from her anytime I saw her after telling her, she would always ask me, olivia, has anything changed? And then I would say, no. She would say, then why are you still with him?
And I hated to see Kenzie presnome, But she is part of the reason that I'm standing here in front of you today. I don't really know where I would be without her.
And the other thing that helped me, that, again, wouldn't have been Exposed to without those other difficult things is Becky Kelly. I went and saw a counselor early on in high school.
And one day it again had another screaming match with God into my pillow. And before I knew it, in a counseling session, all of a sudden, I was just telling stuff I had never told anyone before and haven't to this day probably said again.
And I left that session and I knew I was getting out. And I called him. And on the phone, I was shaking so hard. I was driving. I don't recommend ever doing this. I was driving and calling him, and I was panicking so hard I thought I was going to wreck. So I'd pull over and I cut ties and I broke up with him. I was finally free.
And I knew in that moment, because of how deeply embedded I was, that everyone was going to think I was terrible. Everyone was going to think I was an awful person. Everyone would immediately find out everything I'd ever done with him. No one would want to talk to me. No one would want to be with me anymore. I was convinced. I knew. I knew what that meant, being done with him.
But it was more important to me to be free from that.
And God knew that he was a liar.
And this is not all about the boy, because God grew a lot in me in that moment, too. But as you all know, I've been very happily married for a year to my husband, Evan. And if anyone were ever experiencing something like this, I'd tell you the moment it didn't feel right. Just get out. You'll be okay. Because Evan knows every awful thing that I've ever done. And he has never once made me feel anything less than worthy. He is wonderful.
So how has God factored into that? Well, as you know, and as I just confessed, I didn't necessarily handle that all super gracefully. There were a lot of screaming matches with God that went into that probably wasn't the most respectful way. Me and God have since worked out an understanding since then.
But being able to rely on him and knowing that he was going to be there for me, even though maybe how I communicated with him was not the best, really helped me be able to look to him and reflect on things that he's done in my life and all the good he's been working to do through those times and since those times.
And that has encouraged me tremendously and still encourages me now and I hope can encourage you as well.
So my verse is Psalm 34.
I guess it's the whole chapter. The whole chapter is really encouraging. Specifically, though, verses four and Then verses eight and nine. So I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. That's verse four and verse eight and nine. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good. How blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints. For those who fear him there is not want.
I love being able to look at a verse that focuses on magnifying God, glorifying him, praising him for how good he is.
We are all not exempt from trials, but there is always a reason to glorify him and magnify him.
God has given me such a purpose with going through these things. He has grown me tremendously from all of this that I have been through.
And I love being able to reflect on this verse because it reminds me that God is a deliverer. God gives us reason not to fear, and he is good.
Y'all, I'm sure have heard the United Worship Song. We sing the pure a cappella version of it here at church. And I like how they put the verse. It's o taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, blessed is he who hides in him. Oh, fear the Lord, all of you saints. He will deliver them. And then of course, it goes on to say, glorify, magnify him.
God is so good and he is worthy of our praise. And with every new trial, it has helped me tremendously to be able to reflect on this verse and also to be able to remember that he delivered me from so much worse things that I didn't think that I would ever be able to get out of. He has delivered me, and so I know now, looking ahead, he's going to deliver me and there is no reason to be afraid.
I love listening to this song on a good day where everything's great. I love looking at just the world around me and glorifying him and magnifying him and thanking him for all the good he does. And I love listening to that song and reading that psalm on days where I need to reflect and have some perspective.
In my situation, I felt trapped and I had fear, had a hold on me. Satan wants us to feel the exact same way. He wants us to feel like we are trapped, like there is nothing we can do to get out of our situations. And that is such a lie, and that is such a reason to rejoice. God, I encourage you, going back to your trials and the things I know you're enduring right now, that whatever you could insert in your life instead of mine, that you see how God has been working to build those stairs in you. How something that you've gone through before has either helped you grow closer to him or reach out to someone else who needs you.
And I hope that you are able to use that for other people and to encourage yourself and to encourage others. He works all things together for good, and he is a deliverer from fear, and for that, he's worthy of praise. Thank y'all.
[00:31:58] Speaker B: Wow. Thank y'all so much.
Just like everyone else that's done this. Just thank you for all the prep and the time and thought and prayer and work that went into all those words. We appreciate all the time that you put into it and just marvel at both of you and your families and everybody that has helped you along the way. So it's awesome.
