[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, thanks so much for listening to this message. My name is Jason and I'm one of the ministers here at the Madison Church of Christ. It's our hope and prayer that the teaching you hear today will bless your life and draw you closer to God. If you're ever in the Madison area, we'd love for you to stop by and study the Bible with us on Sundays at 5pm or Wednesdays at 7pm if you have questions about the Bible or want to know more about the Madison Church, you can find us
[email protected] be sure to subscribe to this podcast as well as our Sermons podcast, Madison Church of Christ Sermons. Thanks again for stopping by. I hope this study is a blessing to you.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: So I'm Jane Renaud and my scripture is my scripture is Psalm 139:1 12 and we begin in 2018 when my husband and I became free divers. Free diving is a type of breath hold diving where the diver takes a peak inhalation, the biggest breath they can, and they dive down to various depths, whatever depth that they want to achieve. And if you google this sport, you will see it's insane. But Jason and I are not. So there's in free diving picture up there, that's my husband and usually there is a small round float with a rope attached and the rope has a weight at the bottom and a plate like a white disc. And so you just lower that to the depth you want to dive and you dive down the rope with one breath, touch the plate, dive back to the top. That's all it is. But a lot of free divers love to dive in beautiful locations. It's quieter than scuba diving so you can see more wildlife. It's just a very fun sport. And we've been diving in several locations, local rock quarries, Florida springs, and even the Gulf. And most of those locations have decent visibility, which is measured by how far in the water that you can see when you're diving.
So after our initial freediving certification and freediving for a few years just for fun, Jason decided he wanted to become an instructor and teach it. And so that meant he had to take several other courses to get to that level. So I joined him for some of those and one was called a free Diving Safety and supervisor certification, and this one took several months for us to finish up. We traveled a ton down south to dive in the springs with our instructors. We had to do all kinds of skills, we had to assist with classes, we had to take tests, we had to get certified in first aid and cpr. I mean, it was just a ton of stuff, stuff we had to do. But finally we got to the end. We traveled to North Carolina to a quarry called Mystery Lake, which, in my opinion, was a little too mysterious because the water wasn't very clear. It wasn't as clear as all the places that I had been diving before. And one of the skills we had to demonstrate was a dive to 20 meters, which is about 66ft.
Three dives to 66ft in three minutes. We would dive down, touch the plate, come up, show our watch to the instructor to prove we actually did it. And we had the rest of that minute to recover before we had to go down again.
And I was really nervous because it was really dark. I would lose my dive buddy in about 20ft. That means they would go down. Once they had 20ft, I couldn't see them anymore. And so at 66ft, it was black.
So I thought, okay, you know, I've worked so hard for this. We've been at it for months, and it's really dark. So we're all hanging on the float. And there's another student. He does his three. Jason does his three. And so I'm floating. I'm trying to do the calm breathing you're supposed to do and give myself a pep talk. And I'm thinking, I gotta go down there by myself. It's so dark. I don't know that I want to go down there, you know? And I'm thinking, am I going to be able to even be able to see the rope? And I'm like, you can do this. You can do this. It's going to be fine. Just close your eyes. I was like, that's even darker. So anyway, you know, I wasn't. I was really nervous about this. And while I was watching them dive, some verses came to mind.
And one was, where can I go from your spirit?
If I make my bed in the depths, you are there, for darkness is not dark to you.
And then it was my turn.
And so I completed my dives with no problem.
I came up, showed my watch, and kept my eyes and my hand on the rope and dove down. And I was able. After that, Jason and I both completed our Safety and Supervisor Freediving certification, which was. It felt amazing. It felt so great to finally have done it and with all the skills that we had to complete. That was just one of the many that were really challenging, and they really pushed my limits. Maybe more than Jason, but they definitely pushed my limits. And so I felt really good about that. After the class I looked up those verses to see where. I knew it was a psalm, but I wasn't sure which one or where they were. So. So I looked it up and they are from Psalm 139.
O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely. O Lord, you hem me in behind, and before you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me. Even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
We could go to the next photo.
Not all the darkness that we face in life is voluntary. And it certainly doesn't always end with a triumphant feeling of achievement.
Less than a year later, after that, we lost my dad. And the circumstances around his passing were sudden, and they were horrible.
And they left us shocked and heartbroken. My heart was broken. He was one of my favorite humans on the planet and one of my greatest blessings, save that of Jesus Christ.
And my mom was broken in a way I had never seen. And there were times I thought the grief running through all of our family members might break our family.
And it felt really dark. It felt overwhelming. And I couldn't see a way that it would ever be better, a way that it would ever feel right again. How would life. How would anything feel right again?
But the verses of the psalm.
I knew that God was with me. I knew he knew everything that was going on before it happened, while it happened, and he could see where we were going.
Another psalm that came to my heart often was Psalm 34:18, which says, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who. Who are crushed in spirit. And we definitely felt crushed.
I know that many in this room have probably felt many darknesses. Whether that's loss of someone that we love dearly, whether that's facing health crisis, whether that's life circumstances where you can't see a clear way that this could possibly be made right.
But as we walked through that year after losing my dad, I knew I was not alone in the dark. And I knew that God was before me. None of my current circumstances were a surprise to him.
He was not wondering what to do. And even in the midst of my sadness, I knew he would work it out for my good and his glory.
I hope that tonight sharing this will remind you if any of you happen to be in one of those dark times. I know there are many, many verses that I could have gone to to demonstrate how God is with us. He's not caught unaware. He's not surprised. He did know it was coming and he does know how it's going to turn out.
I find that full of hope. That gives me hope and it gives me certainty in the great God that we serve, knowing that he's got it.
He's with me no matter where I am, no matter how dark it is.
Exactly one year later, on the day that we lost my dad, I was sitting at the funeral of my father in law.
And I thought, lord, this would be overwhelming, this would be too much but for you, being there with us, keeping us close, comforting us, giving us the peace. I was able to look back at that year and see how God had taken care of me and my mom, my sister, the kids. He had held us close, he had comforted us, he had guided us, he had given us peace. He had sworn solved the problems that rose up from losing my dad.
And I was able to be there for Jason and my mother in law and our kids who had just lost another man that they dearly loved. And so as I close, I want to read the words of one of my favorite hymns. Of course there are many, but this one seemed to touch on exactly what I've been feeling through trying to share these psalms with you. It says, o soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see, there's light for a look at the Savior and life more abundant and free.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will go strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.
That's all.
[00:11:14] Speaker C: Okay, I'm just gonna read mine. That'll be a little bit easier for me if that's okay.
I have a story I'd like to share with you today about a little girl who had to grow up many years too soon. Some of you may be able to relate to that statement, but hopefully not too many. Sorry, a little emotional when she was 5 years old. A family member who was 15 began sexually abusing her.
What started out as tickling turned into inappropriate touching, which eventually led to rape.
Even with innocent childhood games like hide and seek, the predator would follow her, hide with her and molest her.
She never felt safe when he was around. She felt a constant darkness looming over her.
Her mom would tell other family members that she cried all the time and didn't know what was wrong. Going to bed was her nightmare. Knowing what was to come.
This lasted for five long years. Then one day, the family member said, if you do this for me one more time, I will never touch you again.
Much to her surprise, he held true to his word. He stopped raping her. But the sexual comments didn't stop.
Finally, she had had enough.
She gathered up her courage and told her mom about the abuse. Her parents were furious and made him leave. They kept him away from her for many years.
Throughout her teenage years, she had convinced herself she was fine. But she would often lie in bed at night, feeling broken.
She grew up in a religious family and often turned to God for peace and comfortable.
She would turn to Isaiah 40:29 31, which says, he gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might, he increases strength. Even youth shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted. But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary.
They shall walk and not faint.
Even though what happened to her was not her fault, she would feel ashamed and guilty.
Psalm 51:10 would be on repeat in her mind.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
God was always there with her. Even when she felt swallowed by darkness, he was always there.
When she moved back home from college, her abuser was living across the street.
He began eating dinner with them and hanging out like nothing ever happened. She was flooded with fear and disbelief. How could her parents bring him back around?
She told them she felt uncomfortable being around him.
She begged them to stop having him at their house. But they didn't listen.
They would say, you're fine. You are so resilient. He can't hurt you anymore. He's doing much better.
He's studying to become a youth minister. You need to forgive and forget.
She had already forgiven him. But forget never. He took her innocence in her childhood that she would never get back. But also a youth minister.
Psalm 77:13 says, I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, and he will hear me in the day of my trouble. I seek the Lord.
Sorry.
In the night my hand is stretched out without wearying. My soul refuses to be comforted. She prayed and prayed the Lord would deliver her from her sorrow.
Around that time, she began attending a Bible study. Her uncle and started. She met a guy at the study and they began dating a few months later. For her 21st birthday, her parents threw a surprise party for her. Her abuser was there of course. She avoided him like the plague and managed to have a good time. Especially since the guy she liked was there.
A few days later, unknowing about her past, the guy voiced concerned about some odd behavior he had noticed from her family member towards a little girl who was about 4 years old at the time.
She began crying and told him about her past.
He became furious and questioned why he was back in her life. She couldn't give him an answer. She was just as curious why her parents thought it was okay to put a victim around her rapist.
He sent the family member a message telling him to leave town and never come around her again. The family member left, but not without responding with hatred.
Her family and even some members of the church blamed her and the guy she was dating for the discourse in their family.
She cannot stay in such a toxic environment.
With the help of her friends, she moved out and didn't speak to them for a couple of years. He continued to support her and protect her. His family took her in as one of their own. They eventually got married and now have three beautiful red headed girls, Eliana, Ava and Olivia.
As many of you probably guessed, in the middle of the story or beginning, that little girl was me.
Unfortunately, because of how I was treated by my family, friends and some members of the church, I felt I had been abandoned. I broke. I tried attending church, but I felt resentment towards the members there. My anger and depression deepened every day I kept to myself.
I was recently reminded how the devil takes advantage of people who isolate themselves.
Even though I never blame God for what happened, he was becoming an afterthought.
After we had Eliana, we both knew we couldn't continue our lifestyle. It wasn't a bad one by any means, but it was without church. We began attending a congregation and stayed for three years. I never took Eliana to Bible class because the church building had many empty rooms.
Teenage boys would help the Bible class teachers by taking kids who were crying out of class and pushing them around in strollers in the hallway. I felt uncomfortable knowing that my daughter could potentially be left unattended with a young man.
There was a security guard, but he was always chit chatting by the front door.
A wall obscured his vision from where the young men were with the children. To my knowledge nothing has happened to any of the children there, but there were too many opportunities and hiding places.
When I had taken her out of the service for crying, a lady met me in the hall and asked why I didn't put her in Bible class. I told her I was more comfortable having her with me and she responded church is the safest place for her to be.
If only that were true.
My family member is a preacher not listed as a sex offender because my family covered it up.
I wish deep down in my soul church was the safest place to be and your home was the safest place to be.
And I'm not saying that anyone who is sexually abused who has sexually abused someone will always abuse again. God works in miraculous ways, but According to research, 42% of child molesters were reconvicted of a sexual or violent crime during the 15 to 30 year follow up period.
Studies by David Finkord, Director of the Crimes Against Children Research center show that one in five girls and one in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse.
Three out of four adolescents who have been sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well.
I'm also not saying anyone with an offensive background does not belong in church. Jesus died for everyone. No one, no matter the sin, deserves what God has done. Jesus died for us. His grace covers our sins. We can forgive, but we cannot be ignorant.
Justin and I decided to attend different churches and hopefully find one we felt comfortable in.
Justin's co worker recommended Madison Church of Christ.
The first day we attended we were surrounded with love.
Many people came up and introduced themselves and following Sundays we attended. They remembered our names and made it a point to talk to us.
Not only did we appreciate what was being taught, we could tell the protection of our sweet innocent children was a top priority. With security here, God answered my prayers. Even when I broke down and put him to the side, he was always there.
Psalm 28:6, 7 says, Blessed be the Lord, for He has heard the voices of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield. In him my heart trusts and I am helped. My heart exults and with my song I give thanks to Him.
When I was 16 I found a bookmark that I kept for many years that had a poem on it. It's called Footprints in the Sand.
I'm sure many of you have heard it, but for those of you who haven't it says, one night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonged to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life, there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened the very lowest and saddest times of his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most, you would leave me. The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you. It would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was in that I carried you.
I attended a ladies Bible class last year about grief, anxiety and depression.
When Becky taught the class on grief, I never knew I was grieving as deeply as I was.
I felt like I checked all the boxes to depression. I could barely make it through the class without crying.
I never realized that my past trauma was affecting me as much as it was I couldn't be the wife I needed to be for my husband.
I would get stressed and anxious and break down over little things.
I reached out to Becky and told her I needed help. Of course God helped me through prayer and scripture. I wouldn't have made it this far without him, but I needed therapy. I will forever be grateful to the elders who have given us the opportunity here to have therapy for free.
I started therapy with Becky back in February of last year.
I was a candidate for emdr and I've been doing that for several months now. I wouldn't be able to stand here and tell you about my past if it wasn't for her. My family, specifically my husband and mother in law and my close friends.
I have a few close friends in here who I've been able to talk to about my trauma. I met them here at church where God wanted me to be.
So many of you here have gone through a traumatic experience, experiences and my heart really aches for you.
No one should have to go through any form of abuse or trauma. And I'm grateful the Lord has blessed me to be able to share my story with you.
Many people have shared their experiences with Me. We are members of one body to help lift each other up. The only reason I'm here today is to tell you there is hope, there is healing.
God is the ultimate healer. God places people in your life to help. God placed Becky in my life to help me.
If there are any of you here that have been keeping trauma to yourself, please stop.
It's not worth it.
Please seek help.
God gave the elders here wisdom to open a therapy office to help its members.
And I don't want people sitting here thinking, well, mine's way worse. There's no help for me, or, I've barely been through anything. I don't need it.
Everybody's trauma is different.
It affects everyone differently. And I just.
The only reason I'm here sharing this with you for the first time ever in public is to help anyone who might need help and to be there for you. Anyone has any questions, I'm happy to answer them. Thank you.
[00:24:01] Speaker D: And that's why, like, y'all are the perfect examples of why we chose to do this. Because Cindy and I, after talking about what to do, we were kind of. We kind of kept landing on. Well, we just want to hear from everybody. You know, we just want to hear stories and hear from people, from the girls that we walk the hallways with every day. And that's. You know, we've talked about the fellowship and the hospitality, and we thought, well, that's the only way we're really going to know some of our stories and be able to connect even deeper, to know these things about each other. And so thank y'all for sharing. Thank y'all for being so vulnerable and being so open. And the scriptures you chose were perfect, and, wow, like, I would have never connected those scriptures with a deep dive, but now that's what I'll picture whenever. Whenever I read those. That was a cool mental picture. So thank you for that. And, Christina, wow. I mean, that's gonna be. That's gonna help a whole lot of people, and it's going to keep helping, and it's going to have a ripple effect. So we appreciate you doing that and sharing, because there are so many people that have gone through that that would never say anything, and that's fine, but it's just to know that there's someone that they can go to to ask questions and to relate to is wonderful. So that's a gift that you gave to probably several people. So we appreciate that.
And so we had a little time left over. I wasn't necessarily planning on saying this, but something popped in my Mind that I thought kind of related and went along with some of the ideas for tonight.
Every week in our curriculum, for our. Our school with the kids, we share a hymn. And we're trying to teach them about old hymns and people that wrote them and the stories of their life. Because, wow, whenever you sing these songs, sometimes you don't know what's happened to these people behind the scenes. And when you study that, it's just awesome. And so it popped in my head that this was the song that we've been studying for about two weeks.
And I hope some of you know it, but I didn't plan to put slides up there. I don't know how quickly you could get them. I don't know anything about that, but.
But I'll tell you this song in a minute, and it'll probably mean more once you hear this story. But the verse, sorry, I'm reading from my phone, it's kind of last minute here. But the verse that goes along with this idea was, be strong and of good courage. Do not fear, nor be afraid of them. For the Lord your God, he is the one who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6.
This song was written by a man named Thomas Andrew Dorsey, and he was the son of a black revivalist preacher. He was born in Georgia in 1899. When he was 11, he moved to Atlanta, where he was quickly enamored with blues music and began playing the piano.
Later the family moved to Chicago, where he attended classes at the College of Composition and Arranging. Soon he was on stage under the name of Georgia Tom, playing the barrel house piano.
Thomas was converted at the National Baptist Convention, but he began writing gospel songs and trying to get them published. It was discouraging at first, and he later said, I borrowed $5 and sent out 500 copies of my song, which was if you see my Savior, to the churches throughout the country. It was three years before I got a single order. I felt like I was going back to the blues.
He didn't, and gradually his reputation grew and his work became known. In August 1932, while leading music in St. Louis, Lewis. I don't know how to ever say that. He was handed a telegram bearing the words, your wife just died.
He rushed to a phone call, a phone to call home. But all he could hear over the line was, was, nettie is dead. Nettie is dead.
A friend drove him through the night. And he arrived home to learn that his baby boy had also just died.
It doesn't say how he said, I began to feel that God had done me an injustice.
I didn't want to serve him anymore or write any more gospel songs.
But the next Saturday, while I was alone in a friend's music room, he had a strange feeling, he said, inside a sudden calm and a quiet stillness hit his fingers.
He said, as my fingers began to manipulate over the keys, words began to fall in place, and a melody like. Like drops of water falling from the crevice of the rock.
And he wrote the song Precious Lord, Take My Hand. Have y'all ever heard that song? And so this was the song. And I told the kids, when I was explaining his story, I said, we were talking about how you can choose to blame God or you can choose to run to God. And I said, what did Mr. Thomas Andrew Dorsey do? I said, did he run to him or did he blame him? And they said, well, you know, he was probably upset, but it looks like he ran to him. And I said, yes. So I said that that's what it looks like. And that's where he was able to write this song. And I said, this song this week has. I've sung it in the shower several times, and I wasn't going through anything near what Mr. Dorsey was going through. And I said, so I told the kids, I said, whenever you don't know what to say, you can always pray scripture. But this is also a great song to learn to know what to sing to God and what to say to him when you don't know what to say. And y'all went through some things that would have. Where you would have really needed this song. And I know we all have.
And I just think, you know, this week, what I've been through, you know, deserves this song. So I have sung it in the shower, but it has really helped me. Every time I sing it, I think of him and his story, and I think this is what he said to God when he went through this. So it's meant a lot to me this week, and I've really appreciated it. Do y'all know the song? Do y'all want to sing it?
Can you do it with me? Make sure I'm not singing solo?
It goes. Precious Lord Take my hand Lead me on Help me stand I am tired I am weak I am worn through.
[00:31:47] Speaker B: The storm through the night Lead me.
[00:31:53] Speaker D: On to the light Take my hand Precious Lord Lead me home so I just love that we have five minutes left. We don't have anything planned. So y'all just fellowship and talk and hang out and hug these ladies and tell them what a great job they did. And thank you all for coming to ladies Bible class this quarter, and I hope you all come back.
