[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, thanks so much for listening to this message. My name is Jason and I'm one of the ministers here at the Madison Church of Christ. It's our hope and prayer that the teaching you hear today will bless your life and draw you closer to God. If you're ever in the Madison area, we'd love for you to stop by and study the Bible with us on Sundays at 5pm or Wednesdays at 7pm if you have questions about the Bible or want to know more about the Madison Church, you can find us
[email protected] be sure to subscribe to this podcast as well as our Sermons podcast. Madison Church of Christ Sermons. Thanks again for stopping by. I hope this study is a blessing to you.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: There's a section that I call Practical Wisdom with Scriptural Support for those faced with one or more of these storms of life.
And I have an epilogue about a particular storm that we all face. We're all going to face.
I'm about to show you a screen grab from a movie. Before I do it, though, some of you will know this movie and some of you will not.
So resist the urge to call out the title.
Or if you're like me, resist the urge to whisper the title to the person next to you.
The ones who know the ones who know who know this movie may also remember that there was a signature question and an answer. Resist the urge to say anything about this too.
This is what they call a T.
We are going to talk about that famous line later and we are going to turn that line upside down to fit tonight's topic.
So if you know, you know, keep it to yourself.
So by way of introduction, I want you to know some things.
I don't have all the answers.
We don't have all the answers.
You could put all 11 shepherds together, you might get a good answer.
I hope you don't run into a situation like we had at work. We had a lie.
None of us is as dumb as all of us.
I have seen collective wisdom silence. The guy that had the best answer seen it happen.
We all make mistakes.
Some of these challenges that I'm going to talk about I have some experience with, and the thing that I might have done first in response to that challenge wasn't the right thing to do.
And we kind of live and we learn.
So experience, it's a great teacher.
But you just would rather avoid some of the mistakes because those lessons are just too hard and I'd like to see you avoid that.
I'll also be talking about some things of which I am less familiar and something I say may sound tone deaf.
Maybe because it is.
And I'll be happy to discuss that so that I can talk with more wisdom in the future.
So now, in brief, I want to go over some of the broad categories of the storms of life.
First, one is grief loss.
If you've lived a few years, you have experienced or you have begun to experience grief or loss, the older you get, there will be other times where you must endure. It is a part of life and you cannot avoid it altogether.
I myself have experienced losses of different kinds.
Quick, slow, tragic, though only a time or two.
Doesn't matter which category they fall into. They are all painful.
There's something to be said for that wisdom that comes by experience, even if you would bypass it if you could.
And we often pray that the Lord comes near in times of grief.
Psalm 34:18 the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit and also in Lamentations, Chapter three We just had a sermon series from the Book of Lamentations.
For no one is cast off by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love, for he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.
Here are some names of people that have experienced grief or loss.
The Misseldines and the Birches, but so many more you wouldn't have to look very far to find someone.
If you're struggling with grief or loss, there are people here that you can talk to.
Anxiety My daughter carries anxiety pretty close to her.
Most of the time she really struggles with this verse.
Verse it from Philippians do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will regard, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
So there you go.
The Bible says, don't be anxious, so your anxiety is now cured.
It doesn't work that way for everybody. It's just not that easy.
I try to live in faith, not fear.
But it is difficult at times to understand that the Lord will see me through a particular trial when I'm in the middle of it.
I think many of us struggle with God's timing versus our timing.
Now, these verses that I'm about to put up are all just as true as this one, and I hope that they can be helpful. But I understand, even after you see four more verses, you may still struggle.
Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self control.
Second Corinthians knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence, for it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people, it may increase thanksgiving to the glory of God, so we do not lose heart.
Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day for this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.
And then Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Now for those of you who believe the verses but you still struggle, this lesson is about connecting.
So I want to throw in a plug for the Madison Counseling Ministry.
Becky Kelly, Darren Crowden and Olivia Renfro do wonderful work with the members of Madison.
There are others among our membership.
Sandra Danari for one who works in an outside practice and another thing that I want to tell you, just because I have experience with it myself, There are medication options, but you must exercise care.
I got through a very stressful time in my life from 2006 to 2008 with the Daily help of Stanax.
It worked for me.
And at the end of it when, well, I delivered that hardware we were talking about and my son graduated high school, I didn't need Xanax anymore. I was able to carry the burden by then.
But I have to caution you that you only need to take this approach under the care of a medical professional and you must be truthful in your discussions with them in order for them to exercise proper care for your condition.
Chronic disease I am very familiar with chronic disease.
Doesn't mean I handle it all the time, right?
But I have over 30 years experience with it.
Plus my dad dealt with it almost his entire life. So I have an outside example.
I learned lessons from him and from my own experience about what normal is and how that changes over time.
The advice the Bible gives in many cases goes toward the subjects of endurance and reliance when we're talking about this.
So here's Psalm 73, 25 and 26 whom have I in heaven but you, and there's nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
And from Psalm 30 for his anger is but for a moment.
But his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
There are others within this family who have a different journey with a chronic disease than mine, and they have much to contribute to others who find themselves in a similar situation.
The key is to connect needs with experience.
And here are a couple three names that can help with that and would be willing to talk to you about it. Linda Lawson, Tabitha Schaefer.
I don't know how much you guys know about Tabitha. She sits about where Mr. Gamlin is sitting when she comes in, right here at the back of this section.
I talked to her about whether I could use her name or not. And she replied back with a you know, I, Tabitha would.
But then at the end of it she said, and this is something I didn't know and I'm pretty good friends with her. I've known her for many years.
She said, just, just so you know, I have about 10 chronic diseases.
I've only got three.
And like I said, I try to hide it most of the time, but wow. The challenge for her just to get out of bed and live her life, it's just mind boggling. She can. So if you've got something wrong, start with her because she might have it too and she might be able to help you.
Aging.
I earned every one of my gray hairs. I got them here more than I do up here. Well, I mean, I don't have any hair speak of.
So getting old, it's not for the faint of heart.
There are plenty of things to fear about the aging process. I get it.
Loss of function, loss of relationships as your friends and relatives pass on, loss of independence, that can be a problem for people.
Being a burden in some way to your family.
Loss of importance or impact.
We talked a little bit about my career achievement and it was great.
I was a pretty important person for a good while and now I'm not.
And I'm okay with that.
It's sometimes not easy to get okay with your world being this big, being this big.
I get it.
So Isaiah 46 has some words of encouragement.
Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel who have been born by me from before your birth, carried from the womb even to your old age.
I am he and to gray hairs I will carry you.
I have made and I will bear, I will carry and I will save.
Now talked about some of the negatives. There are some positives to the aging process.
You got to keep those gains in mind, freedom from some responsibility. That's what I was talking about. I'm free from a lot of my responsibility, and it's great there's a better financial state for many, not for all, but for many, because you had an entire lifetime to save and accumulate.
And the one that's really important to me is that you have more free time to devote to things that mean something to you.
Doesn't have to mean something to everybody, but if it means something to you, it's something that you can derive fulfillment from.
So also, the scripture references that I put up for endurance and reliance, they apply here too.
At whatever stage of life you find yourself, there's probably somebody in this room who's been through it already.
And with many of the same circumstances that you find yourself in that gives them that experience advantage to be helpful to you.
Caretaking Closely related to aging as the average life expectancy creeps up, it brings a consequence that's a possible need for family to step up and help.
It's funny how my kids kind of made this decision for us.
My son finances interest him and he thinks he might have chosen the wrong career. He's a pt and he could have been out of school earlier and earning money quicker and blah blah, blah. He'd have went into finance.
So we've not done it, but he wants to have the power of attorney over finance. Meanwhile, my lovely daughter Leslie has said that you will have a place to live if you need to.
So she wants to have the power of attorney for health.
So they think they have the situation taken care of, and they're probably right. And so I have all sorts of witnesses that even though a legal document is not signed, those are our wishes.
So loss of function and independence can lead to a need for family and friends.
Step up. It can be especially difficult for those who are sandwiched between children that require some help and with parents or other family members who need help.
Our family members with experience in this area can help navigate the myriad of issues that may arise with the process of caregiving, especially if you are experiencing some of the downsides of caregiving. Chronic stress and illness, weakened immune system, neglect of self, sleep deprivation, depression, anxiety, guilt, anger.
Your brothers and sisters stand ready to help.
And then just make sure you understand that what you're doing doesn't go unnoticed.
God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name and serving the saints as you still do.
So here are some names that are associated with this, and that's The Barksdales. The Barksdales have a vast experience with caretaking. Also the Todd's, Richard and Amy, the Lawsons, and then the Holmes, Jeff and Christina.
They all have different stories. I'm sure they all have different experience.
And you should be able to find. And they're not the only ones, but you should be able to find somebody that would be able to help you if you find yourself burdened from caretaking.
Family strife.
So there's four buckets that the experts put the sources of family strife into.
Poor communication, unresolved conflict, lack of boundaries and external stressors.
And of course, some of those are in the categories that I've already talked about.
So I would say I would hold up Ephesians 5 and the beginning of chapter 6 as the ideal, the model for familial relation.
And it has that word that women have some issues with, especially modern American women, and that's submit.
But to me it's coupled with husbands being submittable.
I may have just created a word there, I don't know.
It's a partnership. It's not an autocracy where you have the head that tells everybody else what to do. And that's it, it's over, It's a partnership.
Jason mentioned that we just passed our 43rd anniversary.
We were not 20 years old, neither one of us, when we got married.
And I have thanked my mother and father in law for allowing that to happen.
We were young, we were young, but we enjoyed our time together and we still do.
And we have a partnership.
I can hardly think of a time where I put my foot down on something where she was really in opposition. And it was only after we talked through everything and I just felt like I made the right decision.
Very rarely we do anything unilaterally that's to be avoided.
So husbands are supposed to love sacrificially and then the wives be lovable, help them out.
And then for the children, another word that we don't like in American culture, obey.
Obey the fathers you're not supposed to provoke.
So husbands, wives and children make it easy on each other to fulfill God's word as it's found in Ephesians 5. 6.
The family unit is God's basic partnership to help each other get through life.
I think the instruction applies to extended families as well. Try to make it easy on one another.
Now here I'm going to give a plug to our ministers.
They are working behind the scenes all the time with families that are having difficulty relating to each other.
I've got to move. Who would have thought?
So here's some other things that I just don't have time to expand upon. But if you do an Internet search of top things that stress families out, these are the things that you face beyond those big ones. And of course these are big in their own right. Financial insecurity, Starting over later in life, Work related stress.
Healing from trauma or abuse.
That's a big one.
And it takes a long time.
Loneliness.
Know that there are resources within this body who can help you get over any of these storms if you face them.
Now let's talk a little bit. We talked about the categories of the storms of life. Let's start talking a little bit about some of this help and solutions.
But the first thing we're going to talk about A Barrier There is a barrier in the American psyche to the topic that I am talking about tonight, and it's best expressed in these two words.
Rugged Individualism the rugged individualism of the American psyche works against Christians in general members here because people are reluctant to admit that things aren't perfect and that they could use some help with one area or another in life.
Trying to combat this feeling is at the heart of the themes that the congregation has had over the last few years.
Prayer and Bible study in 2024 elevated these two elements of the Christian life to be shared experiences among small groups of people at spontaneous times.
Fellowship and hospitality in 2025 opened up the opportunities for us to share our lives with others both inside and outside the body.
And now connecting in 2026 ties things together in action for us to have open hearts and open eyes so that those who need help can ask for it, and those who can give help know who to talk to.
In the Practical section of Ephesians, chapter 4, Paul encourages us to put on the new self created in the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each of you speak the truth with his neighbor. For we are members one of another.
So talks about speaking the truth with a neighbor. Why we are members one of another.
And this speaks to both sides of the equation.
No need to fear opening up to another member, and no need to fear speaking truth to someone who asks for help. Because we're family, we relish the opportunity to share that agape love. We only want the best for our family.
Then in verse 29 let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear.
That's both A negative and a positive instruction.
The word corrupting. If you look that up in blue letter Bible, the other words that they talk about are even stronger than corrupting, rotten, no longer fit for use.
But then on the other side, grace.
Grace is that which affords joy, pleasure or delight.
That grace of speech.
Colossians 3:12, 13.
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience bearing with one another. And if one has a complaint against another, forgiving one another, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.
We must cultivate compassionate hearts, expressing kindness and humility, which is thinking higher of others, meekness, which is strength under control, and patience.
These hearts are then prepared to act as verse 13 says, bearing and forgiving.
First Peter 4, 8, 9.
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly.
Since love covers a multitude of sins, show hospitality to one another without grumbling so earnestly. Translated, there means with intent.
All of this burden bearing is easier when there is earnest love between family members.
And where it says love covers a multitude of sins, who is it talking about?
Let me put it out there that it is both the one showing love and the one receiving love. Both have their attitudes shaped more into God's desired plan, thereby covering sins either by humble forgiveness or by avoidance.
All together.
Romans 14:19.
So then let us pursue what makes for peace, for mutual upbuilding.
I like the word pursue there. It's an action word that just doesn't happen. You have to put effort into it.
So this is at the end of a long passage that Paul wrote about how to handle differences among brethren. He summarizes with positive instruction to pursue peace and mutual upbuilding. Blue Letter Bible opens up the upbuilding word to mean the act of one who promotes another's growth in Christian wisdom, piety, happiness and or holiness.
This is a great attitude for us to share as we pursue with each other during the ups and downs in our lives. The goal is to strengthen each other.
I have been on both sides of this equation. I imagine you have too already, or you will at some point find yourself on both sides of the equation.
Someone weak who needed some advice on how to handle a difficulty, and someone strong who through experience was able to help someone navigate an obstacle.
Here we are, back to our 1999 movie.
So who wants to shout it out?
Oh, come on.
Nobody wants to admit they've seen it.
[00:31:20] Speaker C: Fight Club.
[00:31:20] Speaker B: There we go. Thank you.
This is Fight Club.
I've never seen it.
I'm not recommending it. I have no idea, good or bad.
But there was a line from that movie. It's a question and an answer that entered the national consciousness for its 15 minutes of fame. So let's start with the question. Don't shout out the answer yet.
Start with the question.
What's the first rule of Fight Club now? What's the answer before I put it on the screen?
You do not talk about Fight Club.
Whoa, where'd it go?
There it is.
Okay. I built my slides differently in my head than are actually up there on the screen.
You do not talk about Bike Club.
Now I want to turn that on its head.
That's what I've been trying to do during this entire talk.
In regards to the Christian life, we need to turn this thing upside down.
We must talk about things, not just the positive.
Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. Things about our lives that you want everybody to see.
The struggles of all degrees should be shared with others.
That way, those who need help can either seek help directly or be directed toward help by someone with a sympathetic ear.
Who knows someone with experience with a particular struggle.
Now, let's go in a little bit different direction.
I called it an epilogue to the lesson.
And this is.
I just. I would. I think I'm. I would be remiss with this opportunity if I didn't say something about a storm of life that touches all of us, and that is sin.
There is an even more natural tendency to the code of silence when we're talking about sin than with all the other. These other things that we're talking about.
Admitting personal weakness and failure slaps us right in the ego, and we vigorously avoid it, deny it.
Now, there are things that we should have that are between us and God that should remain just there.
But when we find ourselves repeating sinful behavior or perhaps escalating sinful behavior, it's probably time to open ourselves up and accept help from someone who's been there.
Planet Fitness should not be the only judgment free zone.
Church families should all be judgment free zones because every member has been the subject of Romans 3:23.
All have sinned.
That's everybody. Nobody gets out of that.
Because of my role as a shepherd, I have heard some private, detailed confessions, and I can tell you that it is a powerful moment to share with someone, and it has led to some of the most meaningful prayer experiences in my life.
And I want to tell you something else.
There's room for more of that in the body.
Hebrews 3:13.
Exhort one another every day. As long as it's called today, that none of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
In James 5:16, Confess your sin one to another, pray for one another that you may be healed.
So to conclude, we laid out several categories of the storms of life that people face. We went over some practical biblical wisdom to help us meet the challenge and come out on the other side, no matter how long that takes. Finally, I implore all of you to take advantage of your family here that we, some of us, have walked the road you're walking.
We must break the code of silence, especially when it comes to our soul standing before God.
You will be on both sides of these storms of life at one time or another. I encourage you to be observant and helpful when you can, but also have the self awareness and the humility to ask for help when you need it.
There are connections ought to be made all across this room as we strengthen our bonds in love and Vic if you could. We're going to close in song tonight. I hopefully I'll have time to get through it for the bell
[00:37:07] Speaker C: A common love for each other A common gift to the Savior. A common holding us to the Lord A common spring when we're weary A common hope for tomorrow. A common joy in the grip of God.
A come and love for each other A common gift to the Savior. A common bond for lead us to the Lord.
The common spring when we're weary A common hope for tomorrow A common joy in the truth of God's word.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: Thank you for your kind attention this evening.
Go get your children.
