Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You.
[00:00:00] Speaker B: Hey, thanks so much for listening to this message. My name is Jason, and I'm one of the ministers here at the Madison Church of Christ. It's our hope and prayer that the teaching you hear today will bless your life and draw you closer to God. If you're ever in the Madison area, we'd love for you to stop by and study the Bible with us on Sundays at 05:00 p.m. Or Wednesdays at 07:00 p.m. If you have questions about the Bible or want to know more about the Madison church, you can find us online at Madison Church Church. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast as well as our Sermons podcast Madison Church of Christ sermons. Thanks again for stopping by. I hope this study is a blessing to you.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: All right, for those who do not know me, my name is Julie Mombley and my mother is Becky Kelly. And a little bit about me. I studied at Fried Hardeman University for four years and got my degree in social work and then went on and worked at Decatur west for four years in their mental health department.
So that's a little bit about my background and why I'm here tonight. Well, a little bit about it.
All right, let me pull.
Okay. Sorry. It's been a while since I've gotten up in front of a group of ladies and spoken, so I'm a little nervous about this tonight, but I did want to tell you a little bit about my story.
Becoming a mother was always one of my lifelong goals. Leanne's pregnancy, my first was full of sickness, but I was happy and excited about becoming a mother. Motherhood was hard, but I enjoyed it. She taught me confidence. She taught me how to be a mom.
God knew what he was doing when he gave me Leanne first. She was easy to entertain, and I never had to worry that she might flood my bathroom.
In March of 2015, when Leanne was about 13 months old, I found out I was roughly six weeks pregnant with our second child, Addie.
I was both scared and excited, but what I didn't know is that this pregnancy would challenge me in many ways.
About two weeks later, I entered into what I can only describe, darkness. I have very few memories from that time.
It lasted from the time I was about eight weeks until I was about 1415 weeks pregnant.
This darkness came out of nowhere. And for the next several weeks, the only thing that kept me going was Leanne.
If it wasn't for Leanne, I'm not exactly sure what I would have done.
After a few weeks, the darkness lifted, and the depression was not as bad, but then my emotions did a flip, and I went from being very depressed to being very anxious. I spent the remainder of my pregnancy worried that something would happen to Addie, something would be wrong.
When she was born, about 40 weeks and five days, and she was perfectly healthy. And for a time, that anxiety and depression disappeared.
But then it came back about four months postpartum.
And this time, I decided it was time to see a therapist, to start talking about what was going on, what was I experiencing.
And it was strange because I was not a therapist. I was a social worker. I was a case manager. I worked with moms who had gone through this. I knew about mental illness, and I couldn't see it in myself.
But I began the process of healing and understanding myself.
And during that journey, I learned a lot about perinatal depression, postpartum depression, and anxiety.
So that's what we're here to talk about tonight.
You it this is one of those verses. Sorry, I'm going to get my water. That got me through a lot of dark days, and it's an important verse to me. Mom, can you read this for us?
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
And this verse, I probably said to myself a lot during those days.
And this was another one. I'll read this one. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. This was another one that got me through a lot of dark days. Both these verses really helped me out. And as we talk about mental health in pregnancy tonight, I want you to think about these two verses before we continue.
I'm going to read a very special article or part of an article by my friend Pam.
I'm not going to point you out. And she wrote this a couple years ago, and I'm going to read it. It's a tough read at times, but I think it kind of gives you an inside view of what depression during pregnancy is like.
It's called postpartum depression defined. You can find it on the toast if you want to read the whole article.
Postpartum depression is the moon landing. Because even though you are, like, 99% sure people have walked around up there, I mean, we have dirt, right? Moon rocks. Why would science lie about this? One day, some person will come up to you and tell you that it's not real, which means that it never happened to anybody, least of all you.
Postpartum depression is quiet. Sometimes it snaps at your husband, but he doesn't snap back. It cancels lunch dates, bunko nights with ladies from church, ornament swaps. It does not take long before you close so many doors people lose the way to find you. Postpartum depression is crying in the checkout line at Walmart because you have an ear infection and your son is teething and he will not stop crying. And all you wanted was a bag of peanut m ms. For love of everything holy, will someone please take this baby and let you walk into uncoming traffic. Postpartum depression can be controlled with exercise, with St. John's wart, with meditation, with prayer, with good old fashioned positive thinking, with a sugar free diet with no caffeine, with breastfeeding.
Postpartum depression is a whistling kettle that just won't quit. Like when your baby is crying again. Because that's all he ever does. He cries to eat. He cries when you try to feed him, he cries when he's tired. He cries when you try to rock him to sleep. And then one day you decide that he just needs a little bit more stimulation because the Internet has told you that if you don't put him down on his stomach, he will never develop any abdominal muscles. And one day he will be 32 years old and his only means of locomotion will be scooting everywhere on his butt. So you lay out the soft baby quilt that will never fit a real bed, and you place your son down on his chubby belly and spread an arrangement of colorful baby Einstein approved toys around him.
And by the time you sit down on the couch, he has begun to cry again. It's a piercing wail and it sets your teeth on edge and you are so angry your vision blacks out for a moment, and the next thing you know, you are standing over him and reaching down to snatch him up and you catch yourself at the last possible second and you do not shake him, but just hold him out at arm's length. He is still crying. And now you are crying too. And neither of you is louder than the other.
When I first read this article, I felt so much similarities between when I finally started looking for help and the things that were written in that article, and it has been very special to me.
Now, there are a couple of different mood disorders that a pregnant mom can experience during pregnancy and post pregnancy. The first is baby blues. This is a term used to describe mild and short lasting mood changes and feelings of worry, unhappiness, and exhaustion that many women experience in the first two weeks of giving birth.
Perinatal depression, postpartum depression, depression during pregnancy last for at least two weeks.
Anxiety in pregnancy can be referred to as. It's also known as antinatal anxiety. So you may have heard that term, but it's a feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness, especially towards your new child.
And finally, which we will talk about at the end, is postpartum psychosis. It is a rare but serious mental illness that can develop soon after you give birth and can cause major changes in your mood and behavior.
Yes.
All right, let's see.
Okay. So about one in seven women can develop postpartum depression. The percentages of women who are in poverty and teen parents is a little bit different. It's a little higher.
And 10% of women experience depression during pregnancy like I did also recently. In the last about ten or so years, they've done some research, and about 10% of fathers can also develop postpartum depression. They've done some research, and it's in the association of National Health, or is that right? That's the association of National Health, I think is where they've got this article about it.
Okay.
Symptoms of perinatal depression begin any time during pregnancy or within the first year postpartum. When I was a mom, it was within the first two years postpartum.
I don't know if that's the same, if it's changed a little bit, but at the time that I was a mom, it was the first two years after a baby was born.
They are different for everyone, but might include feelings of irritability, frustration or anger, feelings of hopelessness, guilt, shame, feelings of worthlessness or helplessness, loss of interest in hobbies and activities. Things that you love you may not want to do anymore.
You see a disturbance of appetite or sleep. You may not want to eat or you eat too much. You may not want to sleep or you sleep too much, or all you do is sleep.
A lack of interest in your baby, a difficulty bonding. This is a big one.
A lot of times if I have a mom, talk to me and they say, I just don't have any interest in my baby. I just can't love my baby. I don't have feelings for my baby. That is usually that trigger in my mind that says, okay, this mom needs a little bit more love and support right now.
Also, thoughts of death or harming oneself or the baby, suicidal attempts. All of these are symptoms that a person can develop experience anytime during and after.
So I wanted to talk a little bit tonight about risk factors, and this series of risk factors is kind of going to carry throughout the rest. And I'll add a couple. But this is the main risk factors that a mom might experience.
So a family history of depression, a family history of anxiety, and if a mom has had perinatal depression previously with an older child, that puts them at risk. Any life stressors, financial, marital, major life events, moving, if you've moved, if you've got a big job interview, really anything. Because postpartum depression doesn't discriminate, and so it doesn't care what you're doing in life, it doesn't discriminate.
Another thing is something called PMDD, or pre menstrual dysphoric disorder. It's like really bad PMS. This can put you at a risk for developing postpartum depression.
Inadequate support, inadequate support at home, inadequate support in your personal, like your social circle, those that are risk factors, changes in your hormone that occurred during and after pregnancy.
Women with thyroid imbalance. One of the things that, when I was doing support groups with moms and I would go to the support groups for postpartum, one of the things we talked about over and over and over again was that a new mom who was experiencing these things, we always, always recommend that they go to their primary care physician and say, I'm having some issues. I'm feeling depressed. Can I get some blood work? So they can check your thyroid, your vitamin D, your b twelve? All of these can play a part in your mood and the way you feel.
Women with any form of diabetes, including gestational diabetes, are at risk. Mothers and multiples mothers in Nicu babies, mothers who've gone through infertility treatments, and also the physical and emotional demands of childbirth.
A traumatic birth can also trigger postpartum depression. An unexpected c section. And I say these because, not to scare you, but to inform you, to help you understand what you might be feeling. If you are feeling something inside and you're not sure what it is, I'm telling you these things so you can look and say, oh, I had a really hard pregnancy, or I had a really hard birth, and I've been feeling really sad, and it's lasted more than two weeks.
Maybe it's time I call somebody. Maybe it's time to talk to somebody.
All right, before I move on, I wanted to say something because I think one of my slides got deleted.
So I wanted to say something. I had a slide on here. That was a series of celebrities that you would recognize, and they were all celebrities that have come forward and talked extensively about postpartum depression.
And I use that as a way to say again, postpartum depression doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter who you are, how rich you are, how poor you are, what your job is. It doesn't care what race you belong to, what culture you are, what religion you worship. It doesn't discriminate. But it's also important to understand it's not your fault.
That was something that we talked about a lot in group was, postpartum depression is not your fault. Because I think a lot of our moms thought, I've done something. I did something wrong. I ate the wrong foods, I listened to the wrong music, and we were constantly telling them, it's not your fault. It doesn't discriminate.
Anxiety in pregnancy is a huge one for me because I experienced a lot of this during pregnancy and after pregnancy with Addie and melody. And so this one is very special to me because I truly experience this in all of its forms.
Okay. Roughly 6% of pregnant women and 10% of postpartum women develop anxiety. Sometimes they're going to feel it alone. Sometimes it's in addition to depression.
Some symptoms of anxiety during pregnancy are constant worry. And it's going to usually be, in terms of your child, the baby, or your older children, feeling that something bad is going to happen again. It's towards that baby. It's a constant feeling towards that baby or your older children. I felt it a lot with my older kid. Racing thoughts again, disturbances in sleep and appetite. I saw a lot of not being able to sleep at night because I was watching my child to make sure she was breathing. An appetite. It's a lot of, like, you don't eat because you want to make sure your child is eating first, and so you just don't eat. And then you forget.
Inability to sit still, a restlessness. And then there are some physical symptoms, such as dizziness, hot flashes, and nausea.
So when I was doing some more in depth research on postpartum and mood disorders, this one popped up, and it's called postpartum panic disorder.
And this is an intense fear and worry that prevents the person from functioning and causes a physical response in the form of panic attacks. And a panic attack is going to include feelings of shortness of breath, chest pain, claustrophobia, dizziness, heart palpitations, and numbness and tingling in the extremities.
Another one I learned more about during all of this was postpartum obsessive compulsive disorder.
And a lot of this for this one is going to have to do with thoughts and motions related to the baby. So the obsession, those intrusive thoughts, they're persistent and repetitive thoughts or mental images related to the baby.
Your compulsions are repetitive motions such as cleaning, constantly checking things, many times counting, reordering. And again, a lot of times it's going to relate to the baby.
A sense of horror about these obsessions.
Fear of being left alone with the infant. Hyper vigilance in protecting the infant.
Moms with postpartum OCD know that their thoughts are abnormal and are very unlikely to ever act on them.
I felt like mom did a really good job talking about anxiety a couple of weeks ago. So when you think about this, think about what she talked about, and you kind of like, mesh it so that you can be like, well, she talked about this and I'm feeling this way towards my child.
Maybe I need to call a doctor. Maybe I need to talk to someone, your husband, your mother.
Talking is important.
That's a huge thing, is talking and making sure you're not keeping silent.
So with anxiety disorders, there's a couple of extra risk factors that play a part.
If there's a personal or family history of anxiety, if there's a personal or family history of OCD or panic disorder, again, previous perinatal depression or anxiety, and then a thyroid imbalance, again, that's going back to making sure you check with your doctor and having your blood work done. Because if there's a thyroid issue, there are some things that you can go on that will help.
And the thyroid, that's one of the things my primary says is the thyroid can really mess up a lot of things.
Okay, this one's a little hard.
This one's a little hard because when you hear about postpartum in the news media, a lot of times, I'm not going to say every time. A lot of times we're looking at postpartum psychosis.
And this one is the scary one. This is the one that I'm always a little nervous about talking to because I don't want to scare anybody. But at the same time, this one's incredibly, incredibly important to know about because this is the one that really needs a fast and effective treatment plan. So, postpartum psychosis. Perinatal psychosis occurs in approximately one to two out of every 1000 deliveries.
Onset is typically sudden within the first two weeks postpartum. However, perinatal psychosis can appear anytime in the first year. So I always say, just be vigilant. And if you're somebody who tracks your symptoms, be vigilant.
Research suggests that in those who develop perinatal psychosis, there is an approximately 5% suicide rate and a 4% infanticide.
Yeah, rate associated with the endless, sorry, that is a really hard word for me.
I wrote down something really quick that I wanted to read. It was from. I want to say this was from postpartum support International.
This is because the individual experiencing psychosis, experiencing a break from reality in her psychotic state, the delusions and beliefs make sense to her. They feel very real to her and are often religious. Immediate treatment for women going through psychosis is imperative. It is also important to know that many survivors of perinatal psychosis never experience delusions containing violent commands. Delusions take on many forms and not all are destructive. There is not always a risk of danger to self or others. However, there is always a risk of danger because psychosis includes delusional thinking and irrational judgment. Perinatal psychosis must be quickly assessed, treated, and carefully monitored by trained healthcare with professional help. Perinatal psychosis is temporary and treatable, but it is emergency and it is essential that you receive help. Again, perinatal psychosis is not your fault.
So some symptoms of this are delusions or strange beliefs, hallucinations, seeing or hearing things that are not there, feeling very irritated, hyperactivity, severe depression or flat effect, decreased need for or inability to sleep.
I've talked to a couple of moms who experience this, and I think the one thing that did transcend through all of them was sleep.
They either couldn't sleep or they just didn't feel like they needed to sleep.
Paranoia and suspiciousness, rapid mood swings and difficulty communicating at times.
So risk factor for this one is not much more than what we've already discussed. But if there is a personal or family history of bipolar disorder, or if there's a previous psychotic episodes, those are risk factors for developing postpartum psychosis.
I'm going to drink.
I it.
Sorry.
Okay, so what can we do about our mental health during pregnancy?
Well, there's treatment, there's psychotherapy. I know we've talked a little bit about that in the last couple of sessions or last couple of classes. Talk therapy and counseling.
When we did group, postpartum support groups, that was the biggest thing we always suggested was if you didn't do anything else, we always recommended talk therapy to going and finding a therapist and just talking to them and explaining what you've been feeling, and a lot of times they will get you where you need to be.
Medication.
I don't want anyone to be afraid to take medication during pregnancy. Or if you choose to breastfeed, there are a number of new options out there, a number of options that are the ones that we've been taking for a while.
I do always say, talk with your healthcare provider. Talk with your doctor if you have a psychiatrist to figure out what treatment plan is best for you. I find developing a risk and benefits list a great way to help me decide what to do, what is best for me and my child.
Please don't ever be embarrassed. If you are struggling with thoughts of harming yourself or your child. It is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong to cause this. Please let somebody know so you can develop a safety plan. Even if it's starting with your husband, at least it's somewhere, and it gets you started and it gets you going into the right direction.
I called my husband the day that I realized that I was at my point where I needed to call somebody. I called my husband, and he was home pretty quickly, and he just wrapped me up in his arms, and we sat there and we quiet for a minute, and then we went about our day and took care of our kids. And I called, and I got in to see a therapist, but it was just knowing there was somebody with me that I could call immediately, even if it's a best friend, if you're going through something like this, please call. Please talk to someone.
It would hurt so much to lose a friend.
And so I always say, please call and talk to someone. This goes for even if you're not pregnant, not postpartum. If you're just a person and you're experiencing depression or anxiety and you are at your wits in, call someone. Call and talk.
That's important support. So what I did, besides calling a therapist and getting in to see somebody pretty quickly, I found a support group, and I found a lady named Teresa. And we had kids pretty close in age, and she got me through a lot of hard days, and she will always be a special person in my heart. And she actually went on, and there's a thing called postpartum support International, and she went on to start a group here in Alabama. So we now have our own cover in Alabama for postpartum support international. So when the girls were younger, I was heavily involved in postpartum support international and postpartum support group here in Huntsville. I don't know what it is now, because I'm a couple years out of having kids, but finding a local support group is a great place to start. I know postpartum support International has some online groups. I know there's a couple of other groups that they have online groups, but finding something where you can talk to moms, like moms, people who've gone through this, is a great way, and I think it's a good thing for anybody who's going through mental illness to find a group they can talk to. I think that's a great thing to find some groups to go and talk to.
And those were some really special friendships I grew.
I put up their Madison church of ChRist playgroup, because when Leanne was really small, I did a lot with them, and they helped me get through a lot of hard, early mom days and helped me with breastfeeding and how to take care of LeaNne. And though I may have not have been going through depression at that time, it was just great to have a group of moms who were in the same stage of life, and some were a little older with older kids, and it was just a great thing to do. Any of our lady ministries at church that get you up and out of Your house, away from the place, that's maybe the dark pit is a good place to start. And ladies Bible class, I did Lady Bible class a lot, and it got me through a lot of days, too, because I could bring my kids, and nobody cared that my kid was there screaming and hollering the whole time. They didn't care. Mom kept teaching. She never stopped, even when one of them was screaming loudly. And other ladies would volunteer to hold my baby for a few minutes. And any of these things are just great places to start.
Also, I didn't put this up here, but I was thinking about it earlier. Another good place is mommy and me, because in mommy and me, even though your baby is young and you might be a little worried about bringing in a baby who's only a couple of weeks old, mommy and me was a good place to just be around some other mamas for a few minutes. And mom is always great about knowing when her mamas need more love and attention than her babies. And sometimes those babies did not get much class time. They might get more mamas may get more of my mama time, and I thought that was really special at the time.
Okay, how can we.
That means friends, grandmothers, moms of moms, how can we support our pregnant and postpartum mothers?
One of the important things I always is being mindful of what we say. It's okay to offer advice, but let's be careful how we offer it and what we offer.
Offer to cook a meal or send food over. And I know we do that a lot, but maybe think about it when they're pregnant, or maybe think about it when mama's three months postpartum. There could have been a couple of times when I might appreciate it. A meal three or four months postpartum, when the days are really hard because your baby starts to move more and your toddler just won't sleep.
Offer to give mom a break. Help with laundry, let mom get a shower. Let mom take a nap. I know that there have been some of our older ladies here who have gone over and helped out our younger moms because they were just at their wits end and they said, all I need is a shower.
I think those are some good advice.
Sometimes the best thing we can do is just sit down and listen. Listen to them and then maybe just pray with them. Sometimes that's all a mom needs, is just someone to listen to her. There is a lot of times when all I just really needed to do was talk. I just needed to sit down and talk with somebody for just a second. Because again, as I did this more and more, the more and more I realized how much I use this verse, and the more and more I was like, I really need to make sure this verse is in there because I know it seems like a dark verse, but it's not.
It's a verse of hope, and it got me through a lot of dark times. So if there's a verse in the Bible that resonates with you, hold that close to you, because it can get through you through some really hard times.
Now, I am going to throw up some numbers and a website, and these are just numbers to put kind of somewhere. I should have had an extra handout with these on them, but these are just some special numbers. You can find the numbers in the middle on the postpartum website. That postpartum.net is the support international website, and they have all the middle numbers on. And then, of course, the suicide and crosses hotline is now nine eight eight, which is great that it now has its own special three digit number.
So those are just some numbers. I will say the helpline is for non emergencies, but you have to go through some training. It's all through their website, and they do a pretty good job.
And a lot of them are going to be nurses, moms who've been through this, and you either text or talk to somebody.
So thank you for listening to me as I talk about something that is very. I'm very passionate about this because it was part of my life for roughly five years, and I grew a lot during this. And I know that talking to someone and finding the support were the main things that helped me through those times.
And I hope that I've said something tonight that has helped even just one person. And I've done my job, and that's all that matters. And I think it's important that grandmothers, moms of moms, and best friends and just friends and just people that you take what I've talked about tonight, and if you feel like somebody is struggling, you don't have to just go up to them and say, I think you're struggling with postpartum, but you can go up to them and say, hey, you know what? Everybody asks you about baby, but you know what? I really want to know. I want to know how you are doing. How are you feeling today?
Baby's cute, but you're the one that carried that baby for nine months. You're the one who went through labor and delivery. You're the one that is caring for this tiny little child.
And I think you're the one that really needs my attention right now. So how do you feel? How are you doing? And just think about that, and I hope that you all have enjoyed this or learned something from this, and that's it. I'm done.
But if anybody has a question, I will answer a question the best I can. Yes, one of the symptoms that was on there, I think it's flat effect. What is that?
So we did flat effect a lot at the hospital, and the best way that I was ever described is it's basically where there is absolutely no emotion showing on a face. So if you have a mom who is just.
Her eyes are glazed over and she's just staring. Sometimes if you're staring off in space, you're thinking, but sometimes you're staring off in space, and it's just staring off in space and there's nothing going on. And that is typically what was described to me as a flat affect. It's just there is no emotion. And a lot of times, I think even with some postpartum psychosis, there is really no emotion. They are just stuck.
So that's a good question. I actually almost said something about that. So thank you.
Do I have any other questions?
You. Thank you, ladies, so much. If you have questions, there's a. What is it? What is it at the end where everybody's going to get up here and talk about things.
Thank you.
There's a discussion panel. There is a discussion panel at the end. And if you have a question about postpartum, I will not be sitting up there. But if you have a question that you want to ask at that time or you think about it later, ask it there. I will answer it that night. I will be open for questions that are asked about postpartum. If you have other questions you want to talk that are a little bit more private, I'm going to stay after for a few minutes, so you're more than welcome to come ask me. But thank you guys so much for sitting and listening to me, and I hope you have a great evening.
